Thursday, August 30, 2012

HURRICANE VAGINA



A COMBATIVE POST ANTI-OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN AS SEX OBJECTS AT POWERFUL MEN’S PLEASURE IN SOUTH AFRICA







PROLOGUE WITHOUT EPILOGUE

1.        Who said Hurricane Katrina is the worst in living memory?  Wait till you read about Hurricane Vagina!

2.        A so-called “100%-Zuluboy” Jacob Zuma herding the cattle for world-renowned 100%-Thembuman-0%-Xhosaman Nelson Mandela whipped up a storm here in South Africa!

3.        That a mere boy’s whip can wreak so much havoc in the world bemuses the experts. I too am truly bewildered.


4.        The experts and I have oodles, though, of far more plausible know-how that that could have fallen onto the boy’s hands, and then flew up the sky to tear the clouds and bury us in the current deluge.

5.        We think it must have been some machine, gun, or some other more sinister instrument the lad from Nkandla-KwaZulu-Natal must have used or ABUSED and as such unleashed the political twister that has now engulfed him and us all.

6.        You see, the experts are hooked on the boy’s lyrical Umshiniwami Song.  It is a song which the stripling will frequently sing in political gatherings where among his mirthful gyrations he will ball his fists just above his head making you swear he is swinging on a tree branch or even better, on the tail of a cow as only a hardened herdboy as he can do when crossing a swollen river thanks to a bovine!  And indeed more and more rivers have been overflowing due to the storm!

7.        As if the causative factors of this storm were no conundrum enough for weather forecasters, the form the storm has taken is now busy eating the cake in South Africa and maybe it is high time the world shared the amusement we have found in our own national pain: the eye of the storm undoubtedly presented itself in the shape of my o my a vagina!

8.        Ten years down the line, that storm is still continuously raging in the Republic of South Africa. Worse, the twister has as of this 28th August 2012 not only ripped to shreds Jacob Zuma’s political fly every time he turned his attention to Bloemfontein City of Mangaung with a particularly swollen Orange River and apparently no cows to help him cross that body of water, but world scientists led by renowned climatologists have decided to upgrade the storm to Hurricane Level on whose path lie men’s zips in Cairo, Tel-Aviv Jaffa, Mecca, Lisbon, Paris, London and of course, hurricane-prone New York.


9.        I read though that it is only the long nose of New York that might get hurt; otherwise America is off-course for this one!

10.     Experts say: Men folk of the world be warned, YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM THIS ONE EVEN IF YOU DO NOT WEAR TROUSERS AT ALL!


Ye shall be dismembered! L.O.L. figuratively speaking naturally, lest I be criminally charged for inciting violence against politically-powerful men in South Africa.....Read on! (Reading on of course as soon as I put more words on this post... currently, I am still thinking as to how to elongate this post.... laughter... how to scrutinize Jacob Zuma, South Africa's Unsavory Sex Symbol in High Places!)



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