Monday, October 10, 2011

TAMARA PHIRI HAS TURNED ONE A FEW HOURS AGO!

Miss Tamara Sibusisiwe Phiri



I am Tamara Sibusisiwe Phiri.  Please don't ask me again who's my father or my mother or I'll puke: ask me about me because I am an individual eons apart from my accidental parents! For all I care, I missed it by a whopping 20 percent chance being born Chinese chorussing the Dalai Lama a demon; excpet I'm borrn South African and my cerebral Bishop Tutu is in no way assisting me in understanding "if if not Demon, then What"?


Fortunately I am African; and I am talking African.


Tamara is Tumbuka language for “one girl too many”; Sibusiwe is Zulu/Swazi for “blessed art we” and Phiri is “a mountain of fire”, sometimes “a wolf” or “hyena” in so many languages of the world seeing that we are probably the oldest clan name in the world.


I blog to announce that I am one year old today; and I am grateful first to my mother for actually making me bigger than that: one month and nine months old (if you are biologically-inclined and consider what they call GESTATION).

In those first (GESTATION) nine months she was helped by Unitas Hospital’s (Pretoria, Lyttelton) Dr Scribante, a gynaecologist... difficult word ah!

I’m told my Mother wasn’t feeling well when she first visited him that bears that difficult word and she wasn’t sure what was happening to her and the gynae... and thank you for removing the '–cologist' from the doctor’s name... asked back the question that my mother had wanted the doctor to confirm for her.

“ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

My father who was there all the time can’t remember how my mother replied.  But the doctor proceeded with my parents to a machine that looked inside my mother’s tummy where nothing could be seen or heard except something that looked like a mini-hurricane that gyrated, squeezed and squashed every second to the beat of a thousand Zulus dancing like one man.  And that was me, Tamara Phiri around February 2010.


February 2010 I was alive and living in a heaven I would have coined "Mothertummy".  Everyone has been to Mothertummy before; and I’m told I will return there one day, except now it will be called "Earthtummy", in the shape of a grave, or a miniature container of my ashes if I get cremated; and probably the faeces of fish or marine scavengers if I should step one step too wrong with my society.

Anyway, at some stage I got tired of this Mothertummy environment where I was colonized.  I mean, I couldn’t sing without my mother wanting to sing for me; I couldn’t eat on my own.  I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t play.  To make things worse, when I said to leave this world of carrying the yoke of motherly colonization, the damn woman refused me my self-determination.

I started to give the broad something she had never expected would ever happen to her: I pounded her blood vessels with tiny but very thorny particles.  Do you know onkunzana and the little thorny seeds on which King Shaka Zulu frequently danced and danced his army too in order to steel the soles of the feet?  That was what I gave my mother, except it was all over her body, not only in the soles.. and it was inside!  I was tired and I wanted out, even if it meant I died too!

Then I heard one doctor saying the name of my weapon: “Pregnancy Sugar Diabetes”.  I didn’t care what they called it; all I cared for was that they got the message through to this broad or I’d indeed  kill some woman here who would either be myself or my mother!  I know that Mozambique and many other African countries were colonized for some 500 years, but I tell you for me, eight or nine months is enough for colonizing even your worst enemy!  So on October 10, 2010, I went for my own independence and individual self-determination with more cries than anything resembling a constitution:  The Republic of Tamara Sibusisiwe Phiri at no other place but the majestic 1Military Hospital in Pretoria/Thaba Tshwane, and eagerly watching my arrival among other people were....


Who in heaven would refuse a visit to Planet Earth on the march of a military brass band? (Then you come and ask me why I’ll always wear  a beautiful...sometimes naughty... smile?)





P.S.  Is it true that one picture is worth a thousand words? If true, OK, I confess, I've been lying in the few words that I wrote, for that picture of mine was taken quite a while back... I was about half a year old.  WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU SEEN A LADY TELLING HER TRUE AGE?







And if you'd like a taste of my birthday-party preparations and the actual event, try the following which I am putting in reverve to save you viewing time if you are pressed

Also this

Why not this as well?


My stills are as follows (ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MATTERED FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, AND THANKS, FOLKS!)
Tamara

Tamara






Tamara pal

Tamara's pal




Tamara's pal


Tamara's pals








Tamara's pals


















Tamara's one and only mom






















13 comments:

  1. Hongera sana mwanangu Tamara kwa siku yako hii muhimu,Mungu akubariki kila inapoitwa leo, uwe baraka kwa wazazi na jamii pia, Hongereni baba na mama Tamara, Mungu awape hemkima na Maarifa katika malezi yenu.Umependeza sana malaika wewe.

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  2. Asante, Shangazi! Na wazazi wangu nao wanakupa shukrani. Tunatarajia katika posti hii hii kuingiza ndugu zetu wote waliopo hapa Bondeni, waliopo nchini Swaziland, Zambia, Malawi, Tanzania, Uingereza na nchi zote pale tunamogundua wapo ndugu.


    Maana yake kuwa na baba askari na mtu mwenyewe ndie peke yake mwemye historia ya ukoo, picha na video za ndugu hao(wote aliewagundua kwa jitihada zake mwemyewe) KESHO ANAKUFA NA HAZINA HIYO HAIJAWA MTANDAONI NAMI TAMARA UKUBWANI NAANZA NA DUNIA HII KUTANGATANGA BURE NIKIWA SIJUI MIMI NI NANI KWA NANI.


    Kwa hiyo Mungu atujalie katika hiyo PROJECT; akujalie nawe Shangazi! Tunapata moyo kila unapotutembela. Naomba ututembelee tena baada ya siku kumi kwenye posti hii lazima patakuwa na nyongeza.

    Je, video zangu umeona kwa kubofya-bofya hapo juu, wewe Shangazi? Au umeona picha tu? Tafadhali rudia kama ulikuwa bado, usikie nyimbo za watoto Afrika Kusini!

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  3. Ohhhhhh Shangazi Tamara!!sikuona ndiyo nimeona, yaani nilikosa mimi na dadazako hapa, sasa nimewawekea hapa kina dada wamependa sana, ngoja nizirushe na kwa watoto wengine, Duuhhhh Shughuli ilikuwa pevu jamani, Nasubri kwa hamu hayo yajayo jamani, Hongera sana kaka Manyanya na da'Happy mna kila sababu ya kumshukuru sana Mungu, nami naumngana nanyi tena pamoja nasema Atukuzwe Mungu daima na awe nanyi kila inapoitwa leo.

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  4. Atukuzwe sana Naye aliomo ndani yetu kweli, Mdogo Wangu!

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  5. Congratulations & Happy Birthday Tamara!

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  6. Sidhani kuna kuchelewa kumtakia shangazi yako siku yake ya kuzaliwa ..HONGERA SANA TAMARA KWA SIKU YAKO YA KUZALIWA

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  7. Tamara:

    "Nakushukuru, Shangazi Yasinta! Na usimjali huyo Baba kwa kuchelewa kujibu: sasa hivi yuko katika korti kubwa kuliko zote nchini ili kutetea haki yake iliehujumiwa miaka kumi iliepita... muonee huruma kwa kutojibu haraka wala usimkasirikie


    "Asante Shangazi Yasinta!"

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  8. Hongera saaaana Tamara, hongera lukuki pia kwa wazazi wa Tamara...Tamara uzidi kukua kimaadili na kumpendeza kila mmoja wetu!

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  9. Tamara:

    "Mjomba Matt! Asante sana!

    "Nakuja Tanzania siku za usoni kumuona Dada yangu Thoko (17) kijiji cha Mninga, Iringa; kwa hiyo lazima nikuone nawe Mjomba Matthew, weeee!


    "Unipe nami tafadhali masomo ya sosholojia, Mjomba!"

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  10. Ha ha ha, mjomba lazima utakuwa Mwanasosholojia wewe navyokuona, karibu sana sana mjomba wangu, ila sijajua utakwenda lini hasa ili na mimi nifahamu kama nitakuwa nyumbani Tanzania, kwa sasa bado nipo ughaibuni ingawa Sikukuu ya Noeli natarajia kuifurahia na ndugu zako, Januari nitawakimbia tena kurudi nilipo sasa hadi Juni mwakani...maisha kuhangaika mjomba...:-)

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  11. Tamara:

    "Mungu akujalie, Mjomba! Na kweli, Siku yaNoeli iko nasi tayari!"

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