Saturday, November 16, 2013

IDIOT!


1)      I have a white friend (maybe my barometer against racial self-hate) who keeps on telling me that even white folks have the habits that I hate so much from my fellow blacks.


2)      I hate noise and I do not understand why black folks of the Republic of South Africa will drive around with car speakers blaring at a zillion decibels.  This black habit has of course resulted in black-owned restaurants refusing to serve alcoholic beverages because ‘the noisy black man loses his self-control after even a modicum of intoxication’.  Goodman Manyanya Phiri is a different blackman!


3)      I hate tardiness and you had better have a good reason for not honouring a rendezvous: the time and place we agreed to meet in and at.  But I find it commonplace with my fellow black community to dishonour appointments and even to take one another for a ride: “Honey, I will meet you at five at this or that restaurant” but you turn up there is no one except a shadow that you are expected to chase on! PHIRI, THE ORIGINAL KING OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS (biblically ‘Pharaoh’) NEVER CHASES NO SHADOWS AND I HATE YOU FOR ATTEMPTING SUCH ON ME!


4)      I hate litter, particularly the public type.  Indeed you probably will never find a human pig sty than the one I live in when no wife or child is around.  But I do my best to keep my neibours happy by picking up what pieces of paper and other garbage lies outside my gate.  My fellow black neighbours seem to struggle with reciprocating my efforts!




6)      My white friend mentioned before says: “No, Phiri, there are whites who do exactly and everything you are talking about.  Your problem is it that you have, because of Apartheid, never lived in an all-white community hence your ignorance”.



7)      Now I want to plead with all ugly human beings black and white: PLEASE STOP IT!


8)      Stop being noisy to your neighbours!


9)      Stop urinating in public particularly on the highways of the Republic of South Africa!


10)   Stop littering!


11)   Stop dishonouring appointments for you heard it that ‘time is money’!


12)   Stop making babies if you have no idea how to bring them up!


13)   Stop thinking that the world owes your individual ass anything coz the world owes you absolutely nothing that you do not owe to yourself, Idiot!

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