1)
I have a white friend (maybe my barometer
against racial self-hate) who keeps on telling me that even white folks have
the habits that I hate so much from my fellow blacks.
2)
I hate noise and I do not understand why black
folks of the Republic of South Africa will drive around with car speakers
blaring at a zillion decibels. This
black habit has of course resulted in black-owned restaurants refusing to serve
alcoholic beverages because ‘the noisy black man loses his self-control after
even a modicum of intoxication’. Goodman
Manyanya Phiri is a different blackman!
3)
I hate tardiness and you had better have a good
reason for not honouring a rendezvous: the time and place we agreed to meet in
and at. But I find it commonplace with
my fellow black community to dishonour appointments and even to take one
another for a ride: “Honey, I will meet you at five at this or that restaurant”
but you turn up there is no one except a shadow that you are expected to chase
on! PHIRI, THE ORIGINAL KING OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS (biblically ‘Pharaoh’) NEVER
CHASES NO SHADOWS AND I HATE YOU FOR ATTEMPTING SUCH ON ME!
4)
I hate litter, particularly the public
type. Indeed you probably will never
find a human pig sty than the one I live in when no wife or child is around. But I do my best to keep my neibours happy by
picking up what pieces of paper and other garbage lies outside my gate. My fellow black neighbours seem to struggle
with reciprocating my efforts!
6)
My white friend mentioned before says: “No,
Phiri, there are whites who do exactly and everything you are talking
about. Your problem is it that you have,
because of Apartheid, never lived in an all-white community hence your
ignorance”.
7)
Now I want to plead with all ugly human beings
black and white: PLEASE STOP IT!
8)
Stop being noisy to your neighbours!
9)
Stop urinating in public particularly on the
highways of the Republic of South Africa!
10)
Stop littering!
11)
Stop dishonouring appointments for you heard it that
‘time is money’!
12)
Stop making babies if you have no idea how to
bring them up!
13)
Stop thinking that the world owes your
individual ass anything coz the world owes you absolutely nothing that you do
not owe to yourself, Idiot!
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