Singer Percy Sledge Prior to Age-70! |
Stop-press news! A 70-year-old American singer, and star behind the classic "When A Man Loves A Woman" (and please not R. Kelly's "When A Woman Loves" what does Kelly know about femininity?) was found in the earliest hours of this Friday to be entangled in a love triangle with a 43-year-old male from Nigeria/Britain.
In a world where women play second fiddle even in matters of love, there was a world-wide sigh of relief breathed by the chaster among the ladies when the confirmation did come (also as early as this very Friday the 25th November 2011) that none of the two men's women (where any) was involved in this extraordinary affair that was, holy of holies, even blest rather rather than cursed by Heaven of all places!
Contrary to expectation, this girl-friendly illumination only served to fuel the flames of speculation, rather than to placate them. In torrents, the questions, rained down on Africa where both the alleged possible mother-hurters...how could my son ever be gay?...have their ancestral roots.
They couched their questions in nutshells and in the poeticisms of the English language. Yet their message was still downright icy, as clear as ice:
"Had we missed something on Percy Sledge's song, maybe some hidden lyrics that suggest 'When A Man Loves a Man'?"
Sexual orientation aside in the line of investigation by justifiably angry ladies some of whom had conceived on Percy Sledge's men (and the fathers of their children) "sleeping out in the rain", it is not very usual for a septuagenarian like Sledge to be found in this kind of uncomfortable situations.
Personally, and to be plain honest, I had initially thought Viagra was to blame for this. But I was sure of nothing save the fact that PERCY SLEDGE HAS BEEN COMPROMISED WITH THIS YOUNGER MAN FROM NIGERIA!
What is even more amazing is that Sledge's competitor in the triangle is, of all professions, also a singer!
Lengibatsandzako can now, first among all news sources world-wide, reveal the identity of the other man who goes by the name of Tunde Baiyewu (of the Light House Family fame).
Yes!!! That is him Tunde!!!!
It apparently all started with Sledge's aforesaid classic:
"When a man loves a woman...".
It would seem like Tunde Baiyewu is of the innate idea to complete the song with
"...another man loves her too".
It is reported that, despite all the horrors Baiyewu involved himself in, essentially playing Old Harry with Sledge's copyrighted lyrics (to say nothing of the regularity of the senior gentleman's heartbeat), the former still felt so chained to the extent that he was thus inspired to compose his own masterpiece that went unchallenged by Sledge: I wish I knew how It Would Feel To Be Free.
To be adored by two of the world's best crooners, the lucky woman we still do not know who she is.
....BUT PLEASE WAIT A BIT
... HERE IS AN EMAIL JUST IN...
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OH YES!!!
NEWS JUST IN HAS REVEALED
THE WOMAN'S IDENTITY!!!
and She is the woman called...
"A MOTHER TO ALL KIDS BORN 25 NOVEMBER".
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GENTLEMEN!
(May this day not only be a proud day for that woman called your mother for each of you but also for every other mother in the world who loved another human being enough to make it breathe life on this small Christmas Day, 25 November).
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