Wednesday, May 25, 2011

BIRTHDAY PROFESSOR’S MULTIPLE CHESSBOARD



Fraternal Greetings: Mr Mutambara, Sir!

I have been taking a peering into your thoughts.  And now, without siding with your political thinking, and before venturing into raw political analyses on your doings and even possible motives, I’d say at age 2348 weeks today, your body machine must be boasting a lot of potential in  political mileage.  For that matter, in my part of the world, 45 for a politician signifies a wetness behind the ears; yet there you are maybe classically reminding us why Zimbabwe remains a special country in formerly-colonized Africa.  I mean, you are definitely a far cry behind tenth President of FINLAND, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate and United Nations Diplomat Martti Oiva Kalevi Ahtisaari who today is not 27000 days old only, but would have taken this post were it not for your proximity to Blogger!

Happy Birthday, Professor Arthur Guseni Oliver Mutambara!

To the point, and in address to those who may never have heard the name Mutambara before, the said professor is no professor for nothing; for he is playing two or even three chess games in simultaneity.


Game One of Multi-talented Chess Player Mutambara    One standing game has always been against his own state chief, President Robert Mugabe.  According to Mutambara’s MDC party and the one chess game he has been playing since the world got to know him, Mugabe is a long-time dictator who must  be allowed to neither die in power nor to [rule till he is hundred], half of which age, Mutambara still owes a five years as of today thus perhaps giving Zimbabwe another world record of keeping in one administration the very oldest and the very youngest all big fish!


Game Two.  Mutambara apparently lost a party political chess game to challenger Welshman Ncube back in January 2011.  Ncube (50) is a professor of sorts, having been lecturing law as early as age 31, leaving Blogger wondering why he does not go around introduced as “Professor” which maybe is a subject of study on another day for Blogger’s hungry mind.  Back to the gaming subject for indeed politics is a huge gamble: the game is over where current Party President Ncube, “the underrecognized Prof”, is concerned; but that game, it would seem is still on in the virtual world inhabited by Mutambara.

Obviously and very logically, something which is not uncommon among intellectuals and geniuses in particular, one of the two men (Mutambara and Ncube) must therefore be insane.  If so, please, Gentlemen, take this as a compliment and I can assure you the madder between the two of you is definitely the one who will win this battle since the whole world has come to insanity too! History is my witness in that regard, and you know this very well too. Try this for your size, but as of this writing, albeit couched in legalese which for the uninitiated looks far removed from medical terms, the whole matter of sanity versus insanity is a matter a Zimbabwean judge (of all professions) is seized with!

In that regard, Blogger is in fact surprised that Zimbabwe is apparently employing Justice, rather than Health (both state Departments) to decide the deserving receptacle of sanity  between the two Zimbabwean professors.  Maybe Zimbabwe’s route has been: [rather than us as Government] let a judge of the court order the psychological evaluation for Mutambara or Ncube.

This approach, Blogger must state, is a diametrically opposite thinking process to what South Africa employed a few years back to deal with Thabo Mbeki, then still being head of state wielding powers in expressed preparedness and willingness to continue a near-decade-long vexatious hounding of Jacob Zuma with a lousy court case.  In that situation, the Party Headquarters intervened and yanked the man in power out to leave the field wide open for a Zulu victory dance by the  new kid on the block of ANC supremacy.  In that circumstance, it was the best way out because Mbeki occupied an office even higher than the land’s Justice/Health Department, leaving him with undue influence to his rival, Party Boss Jacob Zuma!

This is by far not the case in Zimbabwe where Mutambara is no head of State; and some analysts would see it as plain arrogant of Zuma’s SADC chieftaincy to argue: “What was good for South Africa a few years back has to be good for Zimbabwe today; and besides, if what what we read is anything to go by, Ncube did gracefully accept his defeat to Ncube and so what is the fuss about a supposed difference between the two men?”


Mutambara’s Inter-game Thinking Processes. Outwardly good loser though Mutambara may have appeared in January 2011, he could well have inwardly been winding the Mohammed-Ali Boxing Machine of the last century in its famous rope-a-dope mode.  In the contestation to party political chiefship/chieftaincy, he reportedly preferred for himself bowing out to being booted out under brutal party political body blows dealt him by Ncube.  Astute Mutambara simply eschewed a contestation against the latter back then, thus giving the truthful or untruthful impression that the change of helm was a gentlemen’s agreement.  Or so I am led to believe by my little reading of this political conundrum.


If Mutambara is being truthful, then SADC must give him the respect he is demanading from SADC Chief, Jacob Zuma.


If he is being untruthful, then there is maybe a perfidious act by a soldier in battle who, minutes after raising a white flag, satanically waited for a premature celebration by a Ncube who’d thought his destruction job is finished even before the bell rang and even before the game was stopped by that most important of all persons we these days hear so little about: The Referee!

Refereeing is henceforth Blogger’s job, Gentlemen; and before I read you my commands, I need to remind you of what has been told you back there in the dressing room.

I reiterate that indeed this fight between you might well end in a mental institution seeing that your brains shake like jelly every time the head is pummelled; and whoever flunks that psychiatric evaluation (preceded of course by a court order to abide by juniority to the other in relation to SADC’s current agenda) will also go down in history as one of the dumbest politicians ever to walk the face of the earth.  Yet, Gentlemen, do keep it in mind that that dumb fellow (between you, Mutambara and Ncube) will in fact be the saner of the two.  Gentlemen, and professors, you have equally been warned; and don’t come back tomorrow and blame Blogger for denying you the recipe for victory in your mutual pugilism started in January with that party political election of Ncube at Mutambara’s expense!

Now listen very carefully to Blogger.  I am the referee here and I seek a clean fight.  Ducking too low and grabbing or pounding some spherical little objects is not allowed in my ring here! At all times you will obey Blogger’s commands; the first of which is: The flurry of letters to SADC Chief Jacob Zuma should stop as he is not a Zimbabwen policeman but an essential facilitator.

Let me explain something to you in no unequivocal  terms, Gentlemen.

Yes, there may well be reports all over suggesting Jacob Zuma is already favouring Welshman Ncube, maybe for this good reason or even that bad reason that possibly a grandchild or more of Zuma’s is already also a grandchild of Ncube’s (that is if their children are obeying God’s first command to multiply themselves in fruitfulness).

In that event and in fairness to current SADC leadership, who can blame South Africa for taking the pro-Ncube stance? We saw a few years ago how well this worked in the wake of the humiliating party political defeat in Polokwane of Mutambara’s kindred spirit: the headstrong Mbeki. And so if Thabo Mbeki didded-it (sic) to yield albeit unceremoniusly all  government power  position weeks after his party political loss to Zuma, why can’t Mutambara did-it (sic) for Ncube?


However Blogger and your new referee I am convinced through some gut feeling that Jacob Zuma is not there. Msholozi is credited with more brains than that, Gentlemen.  So leave out the rumours and stick to your job at hand which is the simple and straightforward process of slogging off against each other! 

NOW, BOX!

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