MR JACOB ZUMA IS HEAVILY PREGNANT

(Where you come across a mis-spelling, please read some of my “d’s” as my “t’s’”. My 21-mondh-old daughder paid my compuder a visid and liquefied dhe endire keyboard so much dhad dhe ‘t’-ledder is really exdremely hard do come by l.o.l… damn serious! Odherwise, blame id on parendhood!)

Indeed, if you read my previous post, you will be my witness I was visited by this extra-terrestrial who hijacked my computers for her grandmas, great grandmas, great-aunts and you name it. These ancestors come from Swaziland; but I come from here, South Africa, and so why did I have to endure this ordeal?

As if that was not painfully weird enough, my knobkerrie (my only attachment to what little Swazi Culture I pride myself in) was whisked away from my hand as the miniature apparition from Mars took its leave from my computer keyboard. I tried to resist this daylight and computer-glow robbery; but one of the holiest liquids was emptied onto my keyboard BY MEANS OF MY SWAZI WALKING STICK!

This was now yesterday; but it is the umpteenth time attempts were made to disarm me of my LINGEDLA!


And do you know what that amounts where I am concerened?

My own 2-year-old Daughter Sibusisiwe is desirous of seizing my knobkerrie; she is clearly intent on usurping my only remaining symbolism...aye...my very semblance to African officer-corps membership otherwise by Zuma at military gunpoint divested off me when afore-said Zuma last year (and through his military orders) unlawfully suspended me from work and disrobed me of my uniform via a completely illegal Anton Piller operation expressly denied Zuma by Gauteng North’s Judge George Webster but probably winked an prodding eye at by the President of that Judge Webster Gauteng North Division of the Supreme Court in South Africa, one Mr Bernard Ngoepe... and I am using “Mr” very knowingly here).

Poor me! I was thereupon ordered to remove my officer’s uniform, part with my card denoting my officer status, sit at home, and wait for my fate at the hands of my new god Mr Nelson Mandela (and cousins like one Templeton Temba Matanzima and even more extended, if self-professe where she she self-fornicated-for-promotion Siziwe Winnie Ntombizodwa Zini-Bobelo) with lots of assistance from Mandela-god’s angel mini-gabriel Zuma who not only swears by Mandela like all indoctrinated South Africans do, but goes to three historically unsubstantiated extents:

1. Falsely Claiming: “Mandela is Father of the Nation”.

2.  Falsely Claiming: “African National Congress and South Africa’s ruling party presided over by Zuma as of this July 2012, was started or at least inspired by Xhosa-Speaking People of Zuma’s Super-tribe-Thembu where Mandela comes from”.

3. Origins of the ANC Youth League were inspired by by an apparent-Mandela-fellow-Eastern-Cape-Xhosa-Speaking-thembu one Mr Majombozi or Dr Majombozi (rather than the rightful ANC-Youth-League-Brainwave-Author Dr Pixley ka-Isaka Seme [by affinity Second Maternal Cousin Removed to Blogger and Writer Goodman Manyanya Phiri] himself via First Youth League President (Undersung Zuluman and Hero [Anton Muziwake Lembede who, contrary to Mandela-Zuma propaganda, is the initiator of the idea of forming the ANC Youth League after influences from Seme, a mutual mentor to him and Mandela, hence both Mandela and Lembede led the confrontation of ANC President Xuma to make him accept the founding of the League]

Of course all this Mandela’s and Zuma’s idea combined  is but rubbish in terms of historical fact.  It is nonsense aimed at ensuring Zuma finishes his mansion-building somewhere in South Africa where he can keep his umpteen wives at state expense kept till they die.

Wake up, Africa! African National Congress was ideologically started by a Zuluman Dr Pixley ka-Isaka Seme [by affinity Second Maternal Cousin Removed to Blogger and Writer Goodman Manyanya Phiri].  And on the material level it was started by This writer and blogger Goodman Manyanya Phiri’s Royal first cousin, Swaziland’s Queen Mother Labotsibeni a.k.a. Gwamile Mdluli who offered at least 200 head of cattle that was sold and sustained the ANC’s mouthpiece (Abantu/Batho) from 1912 until of course the Mandelas with their black racism-pro-Eastern Cape came into the scene in the 1940 and with the assistance of their colonial imperialist masters, not only stopped the newsprint of the ANC (“Abantu/Batho”) started by my maternal first cousin (Swaziland’s Queen Gwamile Mdluli/Labotsibeni), but, like all other African colonizers from Arabic to European, went about deleting all other archives in South Africa relating to the contribution of Seme and Labotsibeni from 1912 to at least 1940 when Mr Nelson Mandela’s falsified “Long Walk to His own Freedom and the freedom of his tribe and family members like Eastern-Cape’s Zini-Bobelo” started.

The first minute of that long video should be proof enough of the daily dose of molestation and dispossession I go through if I do not steel myself enough against the unsuspected acts of terrorization.

Aye, I live a difficult life, have been doing that in the past two years now, where everything of mine from computer keyboards to my cultural LINGEDLA must be colonized by this Martian interloper in my life.

“KNOW YOUR ENEMY”, right? And so I made sure I took as many photos as possible of what perceived as the Number One Enemy.  Please judge for yourself!

I had thought that look was extra-terrestrial indeed!

 

She is pretending to being a human lady when I know she is tot from far-away stars... L.O.L.

If there was in her a face I could forgive, that one above is one such a face.

Does she really have a heart? Decapitating, via a mere alcoholic beverage for that matter, my entire keyboard capability of crossing t's and dotting i's for me. You Lass, are touching a hollow chest there, I declare!

For posterity to understand just how I reached my end, my almost own ruination brought upon myself and very Biblical self [Be Kind To Strangers Some Have In That Way Entertained Angels], hereinabove is just how  I took several pictures of this begging stranger-turned-colonizer.

YOU ASK WHY I AM "STRESSING" SO MUCH ABOUT A BABY!

The thing is: I want to escalate my blog to matters political but Miss Tamara Phiri is rendering my ambitions nigh impossible; save for the following paragraph that I cobbled together in spite of her distractions visited upon me.

AND SO HERE IS MY PREGNANCY PARAGRAPH (and maybe I will wake up to some new eiditing ideas tomorrow):

Fellow South Africans, We are on the verge of a new era, given to us by God through the one and only Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma of South Africa; it is an era not only for South Africa, but for the entire Globe as ever led by South Africa from the very days of the Adam and Eve who walked these shorelines. I urge you, Contrymen and Countrywomen: with our current midwifery on Zuma, may we deliver a globally well-beholden baby without ugly birthmarks.

Well and true enough, she may in two years after Zuma grow strange appetites for computers like my Tamara and start spilling on teetotallers' keyboards all types of alcoholic imbibing material; but may we as a Nation make sure for now that we bring to being a neonate that all of us South Africans will be proud of.

Right in the midst of these birth pangs that Jacob Zuma feels (and that we nationally feel for him too NGOBA SIYAKWAZI UKUZALA and 'and we have been in the family way too as the fairer ones of the species'), let us ensure the usage, particularly for this buxom Lady Zuma a brand-new obstetrician’s instrument which will insulate for the baby principles of Africa and the World's ubuntu and not blind greed at the expense of other human beings.

Let us as national midwives armour the heart of Zuma’s baby against any susceptibility to being corrupted and morphed into a butcher’s knife against the good souls so helplessly and incurably given to over-respecting the humanity scum notorious for its age-old history in cannibalizing on the human amongst us.

Yes, Zuma is the mother here.

He is not the baby we are delivering.

He got pregnant.

But he has no clue what the baby will look like.

I know though that the baby will be totally different from the mother, and a nasty mother for that matter, it has been.

But let us try to give what respect we have for the mother too, because it is a most wonderful baby that Mr. Jacob Zuma is busy giving birth to.

For that matter, Jacob Zuma may surprise us: he may well get born again before the fateful December 2012 and simply become "mother unto himself for come 2013".

Outside of my love for the rigours of scientific study, I do not know why despite my anger against Zuma's own carelessness towards this impregnation---an "unplanned baby", I still have at least one scintilla of hope on grounds for him humanitarian  if nothing else!)

Amen! (and I hope I have crossed all my t's and dotted all my i's in this article inspite  of Miss Tamara Phiri).